A Difference in my Thank You!

thank you heart text
Photo by Řaj Vaishnaw on Pexels.com

Another ylc 2018 testimony! I’m going to get right into it. My thank-you is so different…is so different. When you go through for so long and so many different times about various things, you tend to just thank God that you here. It’s never thanking Him for who He is or what He is able to do. Truth be told when you go through time, after time, after time without breathing, it’s difficult not to waiver about He is able to do in your life. That’s where I was; just thanking Him for being here because maybe if thinking I’m here, it’ll help me to hold on another day. It’s all I had and it’s all I had to give. I was just trying to live and find some type of joy. So my thank you and my praise and worship, it was there but it really wasn’t at the same time.

Nevertheless, after my #ylc2018 experience things changed! My praise, my thank you to the Lord was no longer about just making it through but now I can praise Him because I made it through. So, this will be a short blog. I just had to share how I feel. Maybe, just maybe, how I feel and knowing what the Father has done for me may let somebody else know that it can be done for them. My praise is different! My Hallelujah is different! My THANK YOU Lord is different! Different! It’s not the same and I’m so grateful for that. That’s all I wanted to tell you; my THANK YOU LORD is different now let it be different in your life.

Advertisements

Thanking Yahweh for My Prison Pardon

 

Have you ever been in prison? Do you know what it’s like to sit in a courtroom and listen to all this evidence that has been built up against you? Do you know what it’s like to sit and hear the judgment from the judge? Do you know what it’s like to have the guard to come and get you from the seat to take you back to prison? Do you know what it’s like to look at your loved ones as you’re being dragged away? Do you know what it’s like to deal with the tears in their eyes? Do you know what it’s like to deal with the hurt they feel?

Here’s my story. I was an active duty military spouse (now a retired one) and my family and I just moved to a new area. We thought we were going to get this fresh new beginning and start restoring a lot of what was broken. Well it wasn’t even a month before my husband got the call to say they were deploying. When he got the call it was a matter of days before he was shipped off.

I remember this day as if it was yesterday because the way he left due to a certain leader. We thought we still had some days before he left but he was ripped out that very same day that they went in for an alert call. I will never forget the day because I remember us holding on to each other so tight and tears streaming down my face.

Let me interject this in here real quick. When the enemy wants to attack you he will remove headship out the way to make sure he accomplishes what he wants to do. I I’m covered by my husband and the covering was removed. When he would deploy I had to wait on his phone call. I couldn’t just pick up the phone and call him. We, military spouses, have to wait for the phone calls so I couldn’t get up and say hey babe this happened or hey babe that’s happened. I would have to wait for him to call but even in that I can’t release everything unto him because he has a job to do overseas so certain things I need to handle on my own or military spouses have to handle on their own because we don’t want to release too much information to them to where they can’t function and fight for their lives. If we want them to return home they have to have their head in the game. The enemy knows this, therefore, he removed my covering and when you remove a covering, a blanket, or comforter. You are now venerable and accessible. Now, the children didn’t know how to feel so I kept him home from school the next day. That was the beginning.

Back to the subject at hand…No one ever expects to go to jail. No one wakes up and says oh I’m going to jail today. No one goes about their day thinking they are getting ready to go to jail for an unestimated time.

Well, one day my brother calls me (while my husband was deployed, covering gone) and I was really going through it so I wasn’t as guarded spiritually as I should have been. I wasn’t ready for what was coming and I wasn’t prepared. I was not healed from the previous deployment or the previous duty station. I still had a lot to be healed from and a lot to overcome. This is what the enemy does; he waits for you to be at your most vulnerable moment and that’s when he strikes. He never strikes the iron while it’s hot, he waits til it cools off so when he strikes you can use the iron but he won’t be burned.

Back to the story. My brother said to me that he needed me to pray for his friend who is thinking about suicide. Of course as the good ol’ Christian, I was like sure yes, let me speak with her. Well, this young lady was dealing with depression and a suicidal spirit. I prayed for her and she lived…she lived but after being at ylc2018 this past weekend, I thought you myself, was it that she was going to die anyway? Or was it a setup from the enemy to transfer that (death) sentence? Ever since I prayed for that young lady I have fought depression and suicide on numerous occasions. My husband had to come home from deployment not early but at their appointed time to return and redeploy, he came home to a broken wife, more so broken then I was before he left. He saw and did things to make sure I was good and for that time I came out of it but only for a little bit. I could not explain why I was feeling the way I was feeling and how was functioning the way I was functioning. I did know that I was tired though. I was tired of everything; not only did I have to deal with that but to also deal with my husband being deployed and the boys cutting up while he was gone. I can’t even say the boys were cutting up but they endured a lot and it was some of the things I knew that they were going to endure here living in Georgia. Therefore, they adapted to their environment to survive it.

Anyway, I have dealt with depression and suicide since 2010. I didn’t know how to function with it but I did go see someone. Well after ylc2018, during one of the worship services I had a vision. The vision was about me walking out of my jail cell but the important thing about this vision is the door was never closed. There wasn’t a door; it was like a dungeon but there was no door which means I kept myself in that prison for 8 years. This time I walked out of that prison! Jesus pardoned my prison sentence. I was released from depression and from suicide!

#BringMeTheWheelchair is what was happening at the YLC2018. People were getting out their wheelchairs!!! I wasn’t in a physical wheelchair but in a spiritual one. Nevertheless, I came out my wheelchair!!! A lot of us are in spiritual wheelchairs like the woman that was in the synagogue who was bent over for 18 years. Jesus called that woman called out to that woman, not even by name, but she knew He was talking to her. He called her and caused her to straighten up. I call you, those in the spiritual wheelchairs, get up and straighten up; take up your bed and walk, today! You don’t have to be bent over anymore! #BringMeTheWheelchair

When I say no one really knows what that means to me, I mean exactly what I say. Not even two weeks ago, I was fighting suicide. I spiraled….I spiraled, and I spiraled out of control. That was just too weeks ago. However, that Saturday my Pastor, Kenneth K. Law, preached a powerful message, powerful! I told him that following Sunday morning at church, he just don’t understand what that message did for me. He had no clue that just a couple days prior I was contemplating different ways to commit suicide. That day when I walked up into the church for the K7 Leadership conference at church, it took me everything that was in me to get up and go to church that day, especially to serve. He don’t even understand what it took for me to get there and then to preach the message that he did spoke straight to my Spirit.

However, I still needed a release. I still needed to understand where this came from. Pastor Law has been teaching about what is underneath the surface. I’m dealing with what’s underneath the surface; depression and suicide was underneath the surface and I needed to find out where this originated from because Pastor have been teaching about facing what we need to face so it can no longer be submerged but it can be brought to the surface and dealt with. Therefore, because he prepared that lesson, he prepared me to be released from that jail cell. I am pardoned!

Apostle Bryan Meadows

When I arrived at the YLC2018, I could be released from jail because now I understood where it derived from. We have to understand what we’re fighting and we also need to understand what it derives from because we always need to go back to find out where it derived from. If you never realize the thing you’re fighting is trying to take you out of here then you do yourself a disservice and you keep yourself locked in that prison. If you want your pardon like I got mine, then you have to find out where it derived from especially if it’s something you hadn’t dealt with before or in a very long time.

Once the Father delivers you from something you are delivered, point blank, no questions! Therefore, that means there was a legal entry. Find your legal entry. Find where you gave the enemy access. The word says we are to guard our hearts with all diligence for out of it flows the issues of life. I should have guarded myself. I, now looking back on it, realize that girl was never going to commit suicide the enemy wanted a legal entry and I gave it to him. I was not in a place to release somebody from something when I was dealing with what I was dealing with it because I wasn’t prepared nor healed. The enemy knew that! I think she would have never committed suicide. I believe it was the enemy wanting a legal entry.

The sad thing is, I gave it to Him because I have a heart for people but now I realize I have to guard my heart, guard my spirit, my mind, and my soul. I admonish you to do the same, but I also admonish you to go back and find out why you are fighting what you are fighting and what you have given legal entry to. I’m so grateful to be released and out my wheelchair and I’m going to do everything I can, within my power to maintain my deliverance. I refuse to go back into prison! I refuse to have to wait on another pardon. I want you released just like I got a release but I don’t have the power to release you from something that you don’t even know where it derived from or what you’re fighting. I don’t have the power to release you from something that YOU have to deal with. The only time someone has the power to release you from something is after you have confronted it and dealt with it.

Now that I understand where it came from I had to denounce it, plead the blood of Jesus against it, cover myself, ask God to forgive me, and walk in the freedom that He’s given me. Praying Abba Father, what you need to do is ask Him to show you what’s underneath the surface. He will show you and it will come up. You can allow it to come up the way you want or you can allow it to come up the way the enemy wants it to, either way, it’s going to come up and it’s better if it comes up on your terms and not his. Go in peace, grow in a release, and start your journey on your pardon. I thank God for mine!

I Lost My Keys!

person giving keys on man
Photo by rawpixel.com on Pexels.com

Have you ever lost your keys before? How did it make you feel? Where you calm looking for your keys or were you frantic looking for your keys? If you didn’t find your keys would it have prevented you from going to a certain place? Would it take away time? What would you lose or what was on the line when you lost your keys?

I lost some keys years ago and they are very important to me. I’ve looked for those keys for years not even realizing how important they were. It has kept me from appointments, has taken time for me, prevented me from going certain places, and has kept me in a frame of mind that is not conducive to who I am and what the keys allow for me to do.

The scripture Matthew 16:19 says, “I will give you the Keys of the Kingdom of Heaven whatever you bind on earth will be bound in heaven and whatever you loose on earth will be loosed in heaven.” Those are some very important keys to this Christian Life. The lifestyle we lead as Christians is a lifestyle that is not lead one without the keys we need to walk this life. I totally forgot about binding and loosing until I sat down and listened to these prayers I listen to every day on YouTube. The man said it and I came up with the title. It hit me, I lost my keys! If we are to live this life victoriously, successfully and humbly, we have to have our keys! I can’t stress this enough! I know it seems like I’m yelling through all the exclamation marks but it’s how I feel and I want you to get it. Don’t lose your keys! If you have hidden them or forgotten about them or you still can’t find them, well I’m here to tell you Matthew 16:19 says that he will give us the Keys of the Kingdom of Heaven and one major key is binding and loosing; whatever we bind on earth shall be bound in heaven and whatever we loose on earth shall be loosed in heaven.

What are we binding what are we losing? When we lose our keys it give someone else the opportunity to pick them up. They know you need the keys but they rather drive your car and not let you know they have your keys. They won’t tell you they have found your keys, the one you been frantically looking for. Do we think the enemy was going to let us know about our keys? He distracted us to forget our keys. We’re looking for our keys on the dresser, the counter, the table, or the hook by the door (metaphorically) when he’s had them all along. Nevertheless, not once did he remind us of our keys he did everything to keep us from remembering about our keys. Instead he saw since we forgot about them due to the distractions he sent. The reason it’s not in the place we left it is because he took them off the dresser, table, counter and the hook by the door when we weren’t looking. He kept them and continue to send distractions in our direction. He knew because we didn’t remember our “car” keys he could “drive our vehicle” with the binding and loosing of our lives.

I want my keys back! I’m going to get my keys back! Now that I have been reminded of my keys and where they’re at, which has been in my spirit and my soul and my heart this whole time, but it’s been on the back burner because of the distractions I allowed to come in and to take my focus. Now I’m more focused than ever and I’m keeping my keys. I hope this encourage you to go look at your word and find the other keys the Lord has given to you. I know I am. I refuse to continue on letting the enemy hold the keys that my Father in Heaven has given me. It’s not going to happen and the words of Homey the Clown, “Homie don’t play that!” Now that I know, now that you know that we have been reminded of our keys we are going to use the mess out of them keys and we’re going to go back and bind and loose those things years ago when we first lost our keys. Therefore, nothing from the past can come into our present to destroy our future. He has no power anymore to hold our keys! Go get your keys! I’m getting mine! Be blessed!

Alabaster Box Release

Over the weekend, I attended the Young Leaders Conference and it was phenomenal! Words really can’t express everything I felt, was delivered from, and experienced. I know not many won’t understand but more than most will.

hands people woman girl
Photo by Public Domain Pictures on Pexels.com

While I was there a few things happened. On Friday morning I attended the Morning Glory prayer time. Throughout prayer I had a vision. The vision derived from the young man asking us to pray about confinement and being released from it. As I prayed, the Lord told me to stop and He said, “Before you can pray about being released from confinement, you have to understand what confinement is and what it does.” Then He asked me what confinement was, and all I could think about were a few words that are prevalent to confinement on a synonym level.

Confinement synonyms are bondage, chains, shackles, boxed in, closed in area.

Once the Lord showed me the synonyms for confinement, He then pressed upon my heart the alabaster box. When we learn about the alabaster box, it came from the woman who broke open the alabaster box and all the perfume fell up on Jesus’ feet.

There’s an important lesson in the alabaster box story. The revelation I received on this day was about release. See, that perfume was confined to a box and couldn’t go anywhere and couldn’t do anything until somebody either opened the lid or broke open the box. When we are confined to an area we can only do as much as somebody will allow. Nevertheless, when we decide we no longer want to be confined and want to be released, the alabaster box breaks open. I don’t know how we as a people function under the guise of the instructions of what someone tells us what we can and can’t do; not when Jesus has released us to do what He has given us to do. No man or woman has the power to keep us confined to a box, to keep us in chains, keep us in a closed-in area, or to keep us shackled. If we are in that box, if we are confined, that is because we have allowed someone or a circumstance to keep us in an area that we need to be released from.

two clear glass bottles with liquids
Photo by Mareefe on Pexels.com

When the Lord began to give me this revelation, He showed me, we need to become claustrophobic in the spirit. We don’t need to become claustrophobic in the natural because that’s not what He means, He’s talking about in the Spirit. We know people who are claustrophobic; they can’t stand to be in a closed area. They have to get out! Even being on the elevator bothers them and they can’t stay on an elevator for too long. They have to get out and be released from the closed-in space.  That is what we’ve been called to do is to release. Right now we have a lot of people preaching and teaching, whether in the church or not in the church. There’s a lot of motivational and inspirational teachings and preachings about release and yet, haven’t even been released themselves. We can not release someone else when we’re still in bondage. The only thing we can do for anybody is to do as much as they will allow for us to do.

I don’t know about you but I don’t want to continue to live and function based on what circumstances or someone else tells me what I can and can’t do. They or circumstances only opens the lid long enough for me to do something for them and not for ourselves but for them. Do you see what I’m saying?

When we are in a box, we are confined. We are the perfume, but circumstances and the enemy and or some people only want to open the lid long enough so we can make them smell good. It’s never about anybody else; it’s only to make them smell good. They open up the lid and they spray us on themselves…just on them. Then when they go out into public, everybody comments about how good they smell and asks what are they wearing? They’ll say, “Oh, I’m wearing such and such. However, the perfume isn’t just designed for only them. It wears off and the next day they spray us on them again, day after day. They use us up and in turn we can’t be released to bless other people. They want to use up all the fragrance (us) and then they’re going to buy another “bottle” once we run out and are empty. Then we have nothing left to fragrant the ones we’re actually assigned to. This is no way to live! We are to live and to thrive on what God has given us to do. When the Father says we have to become claustrophobic in the Spirit, it means we can’t be confined. We can’t be comfortable in confined spaces. That is not what we are called to. We have to become uncomfortable about where we are and have to become more uncomfortable than the situation or the circumstances that deems otherwise.

Let me share something with you. There’s certain things that are going on in my life that has been going on for a long time. I became used to going through, because any time something good happened it seem like something bad snatched up the good time. It even happened like that with my first book. I’m not going to go into that long drawn out story but when there was supposed to be joy, it was nothing but pain and hurt that followed up behind it. After this continued to happen time after time, I became comfortable with going through because how I feel, honestly, it was my life. All I knew was to go through and I’ve allowed all these different circumstances and people to change my perception about life.

art broken explosion glass
Photo by Stokpic on Pexels.com

Well, when I was in that prayer room that day I was released from confinement! I was released from bondage and from that jail cell. I understood what confinement meant and because I understood, it was clear where the Father wants me to go. I knew I could no longer be a box. I am, we are, that fragrance and perfume that is to be spread abroad. We are to be released from the box, no longer just for that one person, but for all who we are called to and are assigned. I have so many more testimonies, spiritually, about what happened at #ylc2018 and they will follow up behind this one. I hope this blessed you as it did me. Be released in Jesus name!

Karma Knows Your Name

apple attractive beautiful beauty
Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

All of us at one point in time in our lives have used the word karma, and has exercised the practice when it comes to responding to what someone has done to us. Meanwhile, we tend to forget we have caused harm to someone else too. So does that mean Karma knows our name as well?

I stopped using the word Karma a few years. Reason being is because of what the Lord showed me. He showed me Grace. I don’t think anything else needs to be said behind that if you understand the grace of God. His grace far exceeds, knowing my name. His grace and his Mercy far exceeds, knowing your name.

I’m amazed at how selfish we are as a people and yet think we are the most giving and the most humble. In actuality, we are all judgmental, and not just Christians. Everybody has judged somebody whether they are in the church or not. You judge how somebody treat you. You judge what somebody else does to one of your family members. You judge how somebody does something or even have somebody lives. Everybody in this world has judge somebody at one point in time or another and you are a liar if you say you haven’t.

Also I am in awe in how we want grace, mercy and goodness extended to us but nothing but karma for the next person. How is that? How sway?

This blog, this post is going to make you think. It’s not about anything else. Before you extend Karma to the next person, I want you to sit and think about the grace and mercy Yahweh has extended to you. Trust me I know everybody in this world isn’t a butterfly, meaning, nobody had to go through a cocoon season. Everybody just came out flying being a beautiful butterfly. That’s just not how the Lord or his nature works. Everyone goes through a season and in that season everybody hurts somebody. Everybody causes somebody some kind of pain. No one is exempt! And again, I call you a liar if you say you just came out as a butterfly and you’ve never heard anybody. That is not to say you’ve done it intentionally because most of the time we do not intentionally mean to hurt anyone but in the breakdown of communication it happens. However, there are times we do hurt people intentionally because we live in this flesh and I think it would do everybody a service if we all take responsibility of our actions and admit that yes, we have intentionally and unintentionally caused someone else pain. Therefore, should karma know your name or should Grace?

The thing I love about Grace is it gives you the opportunity to correct your wrong. Sometimes Yahweh makes you pay for it and sometimes he doesn’t; that is the epitome of love and who he is and the grace that he bestows. The Bible says the Father’s mercies are new every morning…every morning. Grace gives us opportunities. Grace gives us a chance. Grace gives us the opportunity to redefine ourselves. All karma does is boomerang and cause destruction and pain and continues until it is finished. No one will be able to stand! No one will have a victory! No one would have a testimony!

Man, if Yahweh allowed Karma verses his grace to know our name, none of us would be standing here today. I’m going to also interject the Christian saying from the Bible that we always use you reap what you sow. Yes, that is a Bible principle but Grace is his principal too. Therefore, before we call down doom and gloom of destruction on the next person make sure you do what you supposed to do so the other person behind you ain’t doing the same thing to you. I know we all hurt and I know we all experience some type of pain due to people being inconsiderate, selfish, arrogant, Etc. but the Bible also says rejoice not when your enemy falls less the Lord remove his hand. Don’t rejoice or wish bad on somebody else. Death and life are in the power of the tongue and when you wish destruction and karma and hurt on somebody else, destroying their lives, be careful because the words you put on somebody else there’s somebody else putting words on you. Meanwhile, you’re wondering why you can’t go forth, why you can’t move, why you are stuck in a place; it’s because you’re trapped in the pit of your own words that you spoke on the next man or the next woman. All I’m saying is, don’t let karma know your name and don’t you call it out to somebody else’s name. Pray for them. Ask for Grace, and that same Grace will be bestowed upon you.

call calling cell phone cellular technology
Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

What I want Elohim to remember about me is that I prayed for instead of praying against and not extending the grace that He bestowed upon me to the next man or woman who hurt me. Now, it doesn’t mean I have to go and be in your presence, but it does mean I can separate myself allow, myself to heal, and forgive and pray for them, and move on.

Who do you want to call your name? Who do you want to remember your name? Is it Karma? Or Yahweh?

God Knows My Heart

frozen wave against sunlight
Photo by Hernan Pauccara on Pexels.com

We have all heard countless times, even using the cliché ourselves, “God knows my heart.” Yes, he knows our heart, but do we know His?

When I hear this cliché now, though I have been guilty of using it myself, it makes me cringe. Let me tell you why. It makes me cringe because it is a question that the Father asked me as I was thinking about some things one day. When He said, but do you know my heart? I was immediately convicted.

It saddens my heart to think I could continue on doing what I was doing and living in sin and excusing my imperfections with the cliché, He knows my heart without giving any thought to if I really knew his .

After Abba ask me that question, I begin to think about what is his heart. If we don’t know anything else about the heart of the Lord, we should know beyond a shadow of a doubt that He loves us unconditionally. He showed that when he took his very word, wrapped it in flesh, sent it down from heaven, and caused him to be birthed, walk on the earth, and to be slain, slaughtered, flogged, ridiculed, made fun of, and to give the very life of his own son. That IS His heart and because that is his heart, just that very fact, should make us consider his heart before we say God knows my heart.

Following this up, let’s take it from a parent to child parallel. You have set the rules of your home. You have raised your child up in the very nature, and atmosphere of the kind of home you want. You sacrifice yourself, things you need, things you want, just  for your child or children can have what they need and even what they want. This child, that knows the heart, the atmosphere, and the culture of the home goes out in the public and does things contrary to the heart, culture, and the atmosphere of the home. Then, when you have to pick this child up from jail, or the principal’s office, from the hospital due to their own actions, you love that child but you’re upset. You’re angry, but the love for your child is greater than the anger you feel. So you do what you have to do to get a hold of your child to bring them back home. Then you talk to your child and tell him/her what they did was wrong and you punish them only for them to turn around and tell you ugh Mom, oh Dad it was just a mistake you know I’m not really like that; you know my heart. How would you feel, what would you do with that moment. I don’t know what I’d do if my child turned around and told me but mama you know my heart. Yeah I know your heart but if you really knew mind you wouldn’t have went out there and did the things that you did to bring harm upon my heart and to bring harm upon this home and the culture of this home.

Let’s take it a step further and put it in the context of a husband and wife, boyfriend girlfriend, Besties, or business partner relationships. You all have set the tone, culture, heart, and the atmosphere of that relationship. It is a covenant you came into whether it was at the altar, if it was verbal or said hey you my best friend you, my best friend. Both of you are aware of your culture, the heart of your relationship. Both of you are aware of the tone of your relationship. Now, when one of those partners venture out and does something against the culture, the heart, and the tone of that relationship we call it disrespect. We call it dishonor. We call it pain. We call it brokenness. We call it betrayal. How is it we can feel that way and we have a right to feel that way but God has to hear us say, “He knows my heart,” when we break or do something against the culture, the tone, and the heart of the covenant we made with Him?

When will we mature as an individual, a community, and even a nation? Maturity has to take place. We have to accept the responsibilities of the actions we take. My heart is troubled not just for you but for me as well. How dare I, and we, continue to live an immature life when He has done things to make sure we can have a perfected and mature life? An immature answer, for those who think they’re mature, are those who give the response, God knows my heart. Have you noticed the only time it said is when we have fallen short. That cliché is said at the time when we willfully sin. It is never said, not even once when we are doing what we are supposed to do. Do you want to know why, it’s never said because it doesn’t have to be said at that point because we’re measuring up, living up to the standard of what He said.

wake up smell the coffee wall decoratio
Photo by Zun Zun on Pexels.com

If we truly want to know the Lord’s heart, then we need to pick up his word and read about who He is and it can be found. All we have to do is look at the beginning. Read Genesis chapters 1 & 2, which will give you a great beginning of who He is. Then read the gospels in the New Testament Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John and all those four accounts will prove His heart. It will show you the tone, the culture, the atmosphere of His heart. Let us stop saying He knows our heart because yes He does but it only proves we don’t know His.

Sink or Swim

I was going through my memories for the day on Facebook and came across a video that was shared with me through a friend. When I saw the title, I had to re-listen because I didn’t remember what it was about, but the title grabbed my attention. Normally, I do not go back to listen to videos in my memories on Facebook, but when Yahweh wants you to hear something, He will give you an urge to listen.

The title was called, “Stop Apologizing for Your Standards”; with the place I’m in right now, the title alone was life. As I listened to the video, Yahweh began to share some things with me. I tossed the video to the side and began to listen to what Abba had to say. I wanted to share it with you because if it encouraged me, I know it will do the same for you. He said, “You’re stuck in a sink or swim situation. You’re scared to swim because of what greatness will cost you and you’re scared to sink because of what it has already cost you. Now you’re stuck in the middle and moving nowhere. You can’t doggy-paddle in place for long. You will either sink because your legs and arms will grow tired and your breathing will become labored or it will force you to swim to get to the other side where there’s land. Don’t let weariness decide for you; make the decision yourself.”

Scared to Sink

I was floored at this analogy! I can envision exactly what Abba is talking about in this correlation. Sinking is significant to death. Many times I hear people say, “I have to get back to me.” I’ve said it a thousand times myself…until Abba taught me the dangers of repeating those words. There are two pitfalls to that saying. One, the last word, me…is a HUGE problem. It’s never about us, the “me” factor. When we make “me” the focus, we make His Spirit a nonfactor. Two, the words, get back…is another BIG problem. Imagine if Abraham went back to Abram, or if Israel went back to Jacob. If they or we, were supposed to stay the same, there’d be no need for deliverance, right? The Bible doesn’t state what Lot’s prayer was, but we can gather what he prayed about based upon the Lord’s actions. Let us dissect the prayer and situation. He asks the Lord to deliver him and his family from the place they were in because it was becoming too hard to live amongst the people and not become like them. He cries out for a specific amount of time. The Lord hears him then addresses Abraham. After talking to Abraham, He dispatches His angels to deliver Lot and his family. They get delivered, but the bone of his bone and flesh of his flesh became stuck (doggy-paddling in place) and looked back. She is now a pillar of salt. She died where she stood all because she couldn’t let go of “her”, the “me” factor, and what the Lord delivered them from to move on to something greater. Abba began to teach me more of why, myself, and others like me, continue to speak that saying. We focus so much on “getting back to us”, we can’t even see moving past us (“me”) to get to Him. We are familiar with who we were, how we handled things (our way), and could control things (so we thought). If we could control it like we thought we could, there would be no need for deliverance. Peter was focused at one point but he lost it and began to sink until Jesus delivered him. Stop focusing on what was and focus on what is to come.

Scared to Swim
Sinking and swimming has all to do with us either, bettering ourselves, accepting the fact we can’t be satisfied with who we used to be or being comfortable and content with who we are and not reaching to who the Father wants us to be in Him.
Swimming will cause us to realize, who we were, was mere stepping stones to who our Father wants us to become. We were never meant to stay there! The journey can be scary because we feel like we’ve already lost so much in the process. I mean, like, “What more could we lose?” Many of us ask that question, but I don’t because Lord knows, I don’t want Him to answer that question for us. Swimming keeps us focused on where we’re going verses where we’ve been. We have to swim like our life is dependent on it…because it is! The further we swim towards our greatness in Him, the further we move away from what we weren’t in Him.

Envision this: You’re in the middle of a huge and wide ocean. You’re too far away to turn around but your too far away from where you’re going. You can see a little bit of land where you came from and you see nothing in sight of where you are going. (Side note: If you can still see where you came from, you haven’t swam deep enough or far enough to Him.) You continue to look both ways weighing your options, the pros and cons. One is familiar to you but you know you would be settling while the other way doesn’t have anything in sight but hope and faith. The waves are hitting you and becoming bigger and doggy-paddling isn’t enough anymore. You have to do something. Will you sink or swim?

aerial view of t shaped island
Photo by Odi Pramadika on Pexels.com

Lastly, The Lord has given us three choices; we can either, 1) sink and die or 2) stay stuck and die or 3) swim and live. We have the POWER to choose. Either way we go, we are choosing to live or to die. In that vision I wrote in the above paragraph, there was something else I wanted to show you, but I wanted you to make a decision, indefinite, before I showed you the next thing. Envision this: 1) You chose to go back. You sink and die while on your way because you no longer have the grace from Yahweh for where you’ve been. Therefore, you never made it to either destination. This is why it is crucial to stay delivered once He’s delivered you. Your grace isn’t the same. The mercy isn’t there because that season was up once you received deliverance. 2) You chose to swim. You took the leap of faith and the Lord sees it and opens up the heavens. He sends a boat to you with people on it to help you get to your destination so you don’t have to do it alone. You all endure the storms on the water but you make it regardless because you’ve been graced to move forward. He just needed to know if you were going to choose Him. When you choose to swim, you choose Him and when you choose to sink, you chose yourself.

aerial photo of white boat
Photo by Deva Darshan on Pexels.com

I pray you received something from this; I know I did. I’m grateful to the Father for His love and what He shares so we may succeed. When Abba reveals His teachings, it’s up to us to marinate on it and put it into practice. I’m ready. Are you?

Prayer: Father, I need your help. I want to choose you but life is hard right now. I see land but I want to see my future more. I’ve decided to choose you in spite of what I’m going through. I want more of You. I need more of You. I choose to swim; I just need help with it. I’m depending on You Father to help me. I know I can do this! I’m Your child so I can do anything! In Yeshua’s name I pray. Amen!

To: Their Killers

Why Celebrate Mother’s Day?

I never thought I’d be in this place

With hurtful tears flowing down my face

Nothing in me chooses to celebrate

Due to the senseless violence and hate

Why celebrate the women who gives life?

When others take the lives of the life that was given

You want to celebrate your mother

But you took that same celebration right from someone else’s mother

What and who gave you the right?

To stand there and take someone’s child’s life?

Your mother still gets to see you

Whether or not she knows just what you do

You still get the joy of a hug, her arms of love wrapped around you

Getting to hear her call your name when she needs you

You get the chance to love on her

Just like she loved you from birth

Mother’s Day shouldn’t be about one day of honor out of the year

It’s her teachings and values that you should hold dear

She taught you to value life and not just the life of your own

Making sure you control your emotions, so that mother’s child can safely return home

Instead of giving into anger and unforgiveness making that mother wonder why her child is gone

It’s about a privilege and getting the chance to call your mother just to say I Love You on the phone

Honor her words and her worth by living what she preached

Keeping her wisdom within arm’s reach

Deny her the feelings of hurt, pain and grief

Learning how to wisely settle your disagreements and beef

It’s not only her you should deny those feelings

But another mother shouldn’t feel the effects of your killings

Giving due honor to your mother shouldn’t be her going to see you in jail

Or having to put her house up for collateral just so you can make bail

Or coming to visit your grave and feeling like she failed

Missing you so much she becomes sickly and frail

Making her become one with sorrow and the fires of hell

Sitting in her quiet house late at night with only the comfort of loud cries as she wails

Again, tell me why should you celebrate?

After the other 364 days of bitter bread she ate

Are you kidding me? One day out the year?

Is the only time you decide to give her a listening ear?

Honor her all year through

So, when Mother’s Day actually come around the pureness of your love will actually reign true

  • Unconventional

Copyright © 2018

Emotionally Led

Today, we live in a world that is emotionally ran by emotional people. I guess that would make some type of sense, since we are emotional beings BUT is that an excuse to be led by our emotions? Seriously?! Really?! I want to know! Dealing with people who are led by their emotions is mentally and physically draining. Constantly dealing with someone else’s outbursts of anger, jealousy, bitterness, unforgiveness, a “diva” personality, and whatever else they have going on is exhausting. Words are thrown around callously. All common sense is thrown to the wind. It makes me ask…where is the Holy Ghost that you say you have???? Where?

Emotions are a part of us. I get it! However, it should not run us! I, too, was an emotional person and have come to learn that “ain’t nobody got time for that!” I had to get myself in check. It’s easy to play the victim all the time when you’ve been victimized but when do you come to the realization that you too have become the assailant?

Those who have been victims in heinous ways, either verbally or physically, typically, become emotionally led human beings. It can’t be helped because we haven’t been healed from the assailant and the act(s) they committed. “Emotionally led human beings are victims who haven’t been healed from the attack(s).”  It’s evident all around us. Look at what’s happening in our nation right now. Our country is being emotionally ran from the White House on down to the ghetto. We have to get it together and get healed. Nothing we ever do is supposed to be ran by emotions. It’s supposed to be ran with wisdom, knowledge, kindness acts and with spiritual consciousness and conviction. None of that is evident in our country right now.

How do we get healed from being a victim? How do we move forward after the attack(s)? How do we get from victim to victor?

Get Help!

There is nothing wrong with going to talk to a therapist and if you need medication…take it! There is more than one way to be healed. God equipped people to understand how the mind and brain and our body works so they can help us to function properly.

Look Within

Take time to look within yourself to see if you’ve become an assailant, if you’ve ever hurt anyone in your life, if you’ve ever said or done anything to anyone else that inflicted pain. Usually, when you take the time to do this, there is less of a chance that you’ll “throw-up” on others. If you look within yourself and have concluded that you never hurt anyone…you have deceived yourself and rest assured everyone else knows that you ARE  the assailant. Be careful in this because you begin to burn bridges and it’s hard to mend a bridge that has been burned.

Let It Go!

Okay. It’s time to let it go. It’s time to let go of all the hurt that is bottled up inside you. Free yourself. There is a misconception about freeing others out of our lives when it’s really us, ourselves that need to be free. You’ve been hurt; got it! Acknowledge it and take steps to be healed from it. Let it go because it’s consuming you and eventually no one will want to be around you. If you find yourself in this position, then it’s time to look at the step above this one. It’s never too late the get it right or correct things.

Pray

My spiritual dad says, “Don’t leave out of prayer without a plan.”  What’s your plan to be healed? What’s your plan to stop playing the victim? What’s your plan to let it go? If you go into

I AM HEALED 2 MU.png
T-Shirt by Short~n~Sweet Creation http://www.kingdomfour.com

prayer, you will definitely hear a plan from the Father. He’s there to help but you have to allow Him to do so.

I hope this helped. We need to stop spewing and bleeding over everyone because we refuse to go to The Doctor to get help. Nobody wants to be covered in someone else’s blood unless it’s Jesus Christ. It’s not enough to put on a maxi pad to capture the bleeding; it’s about getting healed and removing whatever is causing the bleeding in order for the bleeding to stop. Don’t be emotionally ran. Stop playing the victim when you’ve become the assailant. Let it go and get healed; become the victor and release the victim.

God’s Love Is Evident

How many times have we walked through life and thought, “Where are you, God?” Although we know exactly where He is; it seems like He has disappeared. I have walked with the Lord for many, many years and even I have had these thoughts more than once. Even now…my thoughts lean towards the thought. It has not been an easy walk these past ten years, promises unfilled, heartache, heartbreak, anger and frustration. I smiled the whole way through. I faked strength I didn’t even have. Still till this day, I don’t know how I’ve done it (I know it’s my Father). People saw me “strong” so they didn’t care to ask, “How are you?” It’s assumed you’re alright when others see how strong you are. I almost feel like being strong is some sort of deception because it never shows a weakness and scared to show it. Have you felt this way?

“Don’t be so quick to judge someone because you never know what they are dealing with. They have some major shoes to walk in and they don’t need you to kick them while they are down with your self-righteous shoes.”  – Keisha Lapsley

I have quite a few battles I’m currently fighting, internally and externally. It has left me wondering about a lot of things. Now, I’m being attacked in my body. This isn’t just any attack, it’s a fiery dart that affects how I make my bread and butter, what I love to do. Even now, it hurts like I don’t know what to type and to hold my arm on the table but do you know why I continue to write? Because I REFUSE to allow the enemy take away my gift! He doesn’t get that right or benefit! He didn’t bless me with it, God did and it’s up to Him to protect me from all the fiery darts of the wicked! And I know He will. He’s done it before and He will do it again. My voice will NOT be stopped! My voice will be heard! My pen can’t be stopped!

Do you want to know why I know He has me covered? Yesterday, I prayed a prayer and I gave it all to Him…my whole heart and everything that was in it. Then one of my sisters texted me a scripture like an hour later. It was just what I needed to hear. God is EVIDENT. My husband encouraged my heart and made it so clear. I was like man, you need to put that as a FB status, lol. God is EVIDENT. I had a rough night. I couldn’t sleep, so much on my mind. Woke up with less than three hou0829161935ars of sleep to take on a full day. I went to my favorite café, Espresso Hill, in Richmond Hill and she said, “How are you doing today sunshine?” Then she gave me a hug. I just about broke down then, but I didn’t lol. This is why I love coming here because they are not just business owners but they are community servants. God is EVIDENT. After that, my other sister voice-texted me a song God laid on her heart. I just about melted in the parking lot. God is EVIDENT. Later, I read a text from another sister in the Lord and the scripture she sent along with an inspirational meme sent me to the restroom to let the tears flow. I couldn’t hold it in any longer. GOD – IS – EVIDENT! Is everything better? No, not in the physical but in my spirit I know that God is EVIDENT and that’s all I need to know is that He’s right here and has been here all along.

Let God be EVIDENT in your life. Don’t give up on Him. He surely hasn’t given up on you. Let Him love you through others He has placed here on earth. God is love and He shares His love through the love and kindness of others. Say this with me, “God, I will let You be EVIDENT in my life.” Welcome Him in and the Holy Spirit. They ALWAYS come through!

– Keisha, aware of His evidence, Lapsley